No joke...today was rough.
A complete test of my character and frankly...my ability to bite my tongue.
Weeks ago...I chose to "let a friend go."
What I mean by that is...I decided that someone that I had befriended was not really a good match for me.
I don't want to go into too many details, but
she became crude and indecent and made me uncomfortable on several occasions.
After a few attempts to let her know how I felt and a couple of "maybe you could tone that down a bit"...it just got worse.
So..I decided that it was time to move on from this friendship that was no good for me.
That's a hard thing to do.
Even as an adult.
This brings me to today.
That "friend" that I let go...she came back with the intent to break my spirit.
She knows some of my personal struggles...
She knows secrets...
She still knows where I am most sensitive...
...and she used all of that against me today...
She thought it was okay to throw it right back at me...
She was trying to break me...
But she didn't.
And she never will.
Instead of calling her names, and throwing low blows like she served to me...I bit my tongue...I let Mr C console me...
I busied myself with my children...
I looked around and remembered over and over again that any time that I devoted to her and fed into her battle would have been exactly what she would have wanted...
I trusted my gut and I looked for grace in this situation.
I knew that my words and actions would be remembered by her but most importantly by myself.
I can look back and not feel bad for anything I said or did...or didn't say and didn't do.
I am grateful for the lesson in this and the trust that I faithfully feed into my intuition.
I am ready to move on from this...take my lessons and store them close should this situation arise again.
Let's be hopeful that it won't.
Lesson # 2:
Will definitely improve my "friend screening process."
I'm thinking it could use a few improvements.
3 comments:
Shoot, I really feel for you! It is so hard to realize that someone you have devoted time, energy, and emotion into has become a toxic friend. Good for you for handling it with class, and trusting your intuition. I am sure you are right, and you would have felt so much worse if you had not. With family and loved ones, your time is too precious to waste on people like that!
I needed to read this. Thanks!
Life is to learn and that's why getting older and more mature sometimes feels so good. Well I guess it only feels good if we really do learn life's lessons.
Good job on the way you handled it
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