I am anxiously awaiting for my Christmas spirit...it seems to be running a bit late this year. Each morning as I wake up from my slumber...I hope to feel the overwhelming cheer of the holidays...maybe it snuck in through the window with the brisk December air...not today. I feel like that last one standing as far as catching the spirit of Christmas is concerned...it seems to be running ramp id through the veins of those around me...I wonder where my share could be?
For some reason, this year feels different...everything about it feels off...and I have been trying to figure out why. Maybe the stress of the economy and the instability of where we are has something to do with it. Maybe it just really snuck up on me like it does every year, but this year, it was quieter so I didn't hear it approaching...or I chose not to hear it. Perhaps the heavy thoughts that I have had about wanting this time of year to return back to the meaningfulness that it once used to be have something to do with it's obvious delay. I don't like the thought of Christmas being associated with stress and burden. It is so much more than that...so much more. Perhaps the weather has something to do with it...it's still reaching temps of 80 degrees here in Phoenix...not weather conducive to the season of Christmas. Whatever the reason may be...it is just not fully here for me.
Christmas is fast approaching now and I am desperate to feel my holiday cheer. I was secretly hoping that last week when Mr. Clark hung the holiday lights on the house that would have triggered something in me and it did, but only for moments...I soon was back to square 1...holiday cheer-less. Hmmmm...where could it be?
I was hoping to find it last week when I started my Christmas shopping...I soon realized that mid-shopping...I was spending more on myself...and "forgot" who and what I was supposed to be purchasing for...slight oversight on my part.
Slight oversight.
Because of my lack-of-cheeritis (not sure if that is a medical condition or not)...I have turned into a Christmas poser...if there is such a thing. I have made the art of faking holiday cheer artful and somewhat of a game in full hopes of fooling myself into believing that I am more like Mrs. Claus and less like Scrooge...it's an exhausting task but I am willing to participate in this game until I feel like I am caught up with all of the Christmas celebrators on Decatur Street.
Tonight...Mr. Clark and I are taking the children to pick out our family Christmas tree...perhaps there is a little spirit of Christmas nestled somewhere in the branches...just waiting for me to bring it home.
Fingers crossed.
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3 comments:
Hello! Thank you for visiting my blog! I just started reading yours and wanted to drop you a line. My darling cherubs have plans for me right now, so I am going to have to revisit after bedtime. I like what I've read so far. You're quite funny! By the way - I'm okay with non-authentic jeans, but the handbag - not so much.
Amen to the economy putting a damper on the merry-ness! It just doesn't feel right to be out shopping and spending!
If you get a chance, e-mail me your adress so I can send you a Christmas card!
denisedrescher@hotmail.com
I love your post! You are a good writer. :) I know quite how you feel. I was going to write about the same thing on my blog but haven't had the time. However, I am not letting it all bring me down. I have consigned myself to the fact that this just might be a warm, decoration-free Christmas. I am not going to sweat the small things. Don't worry you'll find your holiday spirit soon. The tree might help. If it makes you feel any better, i've had my tree up for two weeks and haven't put the decorations on it yet. I don't know if I will. I don't have all the lights up on my house yet. I feel like i'm doing it in episodes. We sat around the tree as a family the other day while the kids played christmas songs on the piano and Lance rocked the little ones. I have to tell you, it was a wonderful feeling. Even though the tree was bare, there was a sweet spirit of togetherness. Afterall, isn't that what Christmas is all about? The only thing that was missing was some hot chocolate and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Ha! Cheer up Scrooge, you'll find your spirit soon! LOL!!
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